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Scrum unsucked

[Photo credit: darkmatter]

I’ve been reading into Scrum closer recently and it just seems like a horrible corruption of an inspirational idea, that could much more easily be integrated into normal project practices.

Agile

I love the agile principles. I’m repeating them here for my own benefit, I like a good list as much as the next.

  1. Customer satisfaction by rapid delivery of useful software
  2. Welcome changing requirements, even late in development
  3. Working software is delivered frequently (weeks rather than months)
  4. Working software is the principal measure of progress
  5. Sustainable development, able to maintain a constant pace
  6. Close, daily cooperation between business people and developers
  7. Face-to-face conversation is the best form of communication (co-location)
  8. Projects are built around motivated individuals, who should be trusted
  9. Continuous attention to technical excellence and good design
  10. Simplicity—the art of maximizing the amount of work not done—is essential
  11. Self-organizing teams
  12. Regular adaptation to changing circumstances

Each principle makes sense, even if, perhaps, it isn’t attainable.

Their manifesto is harder to figure out, but still has a great aspirational feel to it.

We value this Over this
Individuals and interactions Processes and tools
Working software Comprehensive documentation
Customer collaboration Contract negotiation
Responding to change Following a plan

However importantly note that the second column is still valued, but just not as much as the first.

Scrum

Now read the Scrum Guide™ (TM!). Scrum just seems like a conversion of agile concepts into sucky word project management.

I realised I’d already got it wrong with what a sprint was – I thought it was two weeks work. They suggest that it should be a month’s worth of work – which makes sense, but why not just call it a month’s worth of work – or if it’s going to be less just call it an increment.

Anyway I read through the Scrum Guide and here’s my unsucked version of their main concepts.

Scrum Guide™ Unsucked agile guidelines™
The Scrum Team The Team
The Product Owner The Client
The Development Team The Developers
The Scrum Master The Project Manager
The Sprint The Sprint (it isn’t actually that bad a word) / Increment
Sprint Planning Planning
Daily Scrum Talk
Sprint Review Sprint Update
Sprint Retrospective Sprint Review
Scrum Artifacts Documents
Product Backlog Issues
Sprint Backlog Sprint Issues
Increment Completed Issues
Artifact Transparency Simplification
Definition of “Done” Happy Client

Can I have a word…

Scrum style

“Shall we go over the Sprint Review later? I’m not convinced that the Product Backlog contains all that we require for the definition of done. The Daily Scrum this morning wasn’t great as the Scrum Master had to get the Development Team to better explain their progress to The Product Owner. We need to make the Sprint Backlog artifact more transparent as The Product Owner feels we haven’t followed what we agreed at the last Sprint Retrospective.”

vs sane

“Shall we go over the Sprint update later? I’m not convinced that the issues contain all that we require for the client to be happy. The talk this morning wasn’t great as the Project Manager had to get the developers to better explain their progress to the business. We need to simplify the Sprint’s issues as the client feels we haven’t followed what we agreed at the last Sprint review.”

Please let the first type of conversation cease.

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